Scientific, supernatural, or a little bit of both?

Why do couples who’ve been together for a long time start to look like one another? It’s a phenomenon called ‘convergence of appearance’ for which numerous scientific explanations exist, but being a romantic at heart, I tend toward a belief in fate, and true love. 

Let’s take a closer look…

According to recent article ‘Why Couples Tend to Look Alike’, the adage that ‘opposites attract’ is losing traction, since recent studies are citing that similar physical appearances, including height and weight, spur initial attraction. Why? Trust, familiarity and even genetics can play into it, on an instinctual level.

This, perhaps, is the foundation for a long and happy relationship, and couples who spend a lot of time together often mimic each other’s facial expressions.

But there are other reasons. It’s said that often, men and women are attracted to those who resemble their parents. This ‘sexual imprinting’ means the man/woman is using his/her mother/father as a role model, and perhaps looking for similar features in a mate.

People who come from similar religions, economic and social backgrounds have similar lifestyles, including the food they eat, the environment they live in, traditions, customs, etc., which translates to similar appearances in couples.

In addition, the time you spend with your partner shows in your face – wrinkles, laugh lines and all—underscoring the notion that it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown!

It’s been said these famous couples look alike: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Denzel and Pauletta Washington, Courteney Cox and Johnny McDaid, John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

All that being said, it begs the question: what came first, the love, or the looks? Do we find our one true love, based on an innate search for similarity, and carry that through, in the end, resembling our partner? Or does destiny, or another mystical force guide us to our love, and then the similarities kick in? Or, perhaps the ‘similarity seeking’ is the mystical force…


Rebecca E. Neely pens stories with a paranormal flair, and of course, romance. The Keeper, Book 1 in the Crossing Realms paranormal romance series, is available now on Amazon.